So the Black Persian gave me back those uniform pieces he stole from you. I'd ask if you wanted to come to Fight Club to pick them up, but the man seems to be stalking the premises.
Honestly, he's really just a big pussycat when he's not on the job. I mean, yes, he took me back to his lair last night to interrogate me, but it was fairly pleasant as far as interrogations go. 10/10, would be captured again.
Also you do realize that I can just take your uniform back to the 'office' on foot, right? I'm due to turn in my quota anyway.
It's fine. Like I said, I have to go to base anyway.
And if it helps you understand better, imagine if a *woman* in skintight black that leaves little to the imagination took you back somewhere, tied you up, and whispered threatening-yet-suggestive things in *your* ear.
[There's a much longer delay in the response here.]
ok
fair
but like also does this guy try to seduce *everyone* or just the people who seem receptive to it because then it still might be a little uncomfortable for some people I am just saying
It was *entirely* a matter of who's receptive to it. The first time I saw him in his costume, I gave him a *very* approving once-over. He absolutely knew I was all for having a homoerotic post-battle encounter.
I'll be there in half-an-hour.
--
It turns out to be closer to an hour.
"Sorry," Steven says tiredly, holding out a brown paper bag that evidently has Jules' uniform pieces in it. "I went to turn in my quota on the way and there's a new recruit from another world who's a little bitch."
"Someone I should worry about?" Jules does not even care about the delay; he's just happy to get his stuff back. "Oh man, thanks, it is so hard to get stuff in the right size, you don't even know."
"Scraft!" Rust is trailing along after Jules as usual; she seems to think he met with difficulty at Christmas solely because he wouldn't let her come along there.
"Mmm, maybe? He's a catty, poisonous, little brat, about eighteen if he's a day? His most dangerous quality is his smart mouth, but if he decides you aren't worth shit--which he did with me--he's liable to shittalk you behind your back for the rest of time. He's basically half the boys I fucked in college, unfortunately, and while I know this means his home life is probably shit, because it always is for boys like him, right now I'm too pissed off at the little shit to really care."
He pauses for a moment, then adds, "So yeah, if you don't interact, you'll be fine. And if you can persuade the little brat you're useful, you'll be fine. And you don't have to worry about him treating you like shit after you sleep with him, because you're hopelessly straight and you won't. He'll probably flirt with you, though, if he thinks he can get away with it. It goes with the territory."
He sighs. "Ugh, sorry, I promise I wasn't planning to come over just to complain about the new guy. It just... happened. But, uh, I think I actually can get it a little bit? Just because... well. I'm kind of dating Thace now? And he's as tall as you, just a bit broader. So I'm getting exposed to the pain of finding clothes to fit him."
The descriptions of the new guy get a grimace from Jules. "Yeah, I went to high school with guys like that...and I guess I can't exactly hack into the system to tank their grades here in retaliation, ugh." There's a pause. "You do realize that if you hadn't warned me about the flirting, I probably wouldn't pick up on it at all, right?" That straight. That oblivious.
Clothes! Clothes are easier to discuss! There's a lot of nodding from Jules. "He's broader than I am, so at least he doesn't have to worry as much about things being like parachute pants all over." There's a sigh. "It is such a pain; I'd be trading fake IDs for teenagers with the Spring Court all the time; they'd hook me up with clothes in return."
Steven sighs. "Right. I should have realized that from our texts. And no, you can't, but you could probably mess with his internal records anyway, if he's too much of a little shit to you."
He rubs his forehead. "I wish Garak had stayed here longer than he did. We could really use a tailor for the Team. Or that the places that Thace gets his clothes from made leggings--on you, they'd probably be like regular pants."
"Sure," Steven says. "I'll talk with Thace and with Hythlodaeus, they're both ridiculously tall and Hythlo's started wearing things that aren't robes on occasion."
"Robes just seem like they'd be so drafty," Jules says absently. "But yeah, that's good. Having a group of those of us who are, uh, wardrobe-challenged is probably a good idea."
"They can be comfy," Steven says. "I was stuck as a Galra for a day and had to borrow one of Hythlo's robes because I couldn't fit in my own clothes. But yeah, we should have a group or something. At the very least, you should come over to Fight Club some night and I'll introduce you to Thace. And hell, spot you a drink or two."
"Oh, that'd be good!" Mostly because Steven doesn't realize how dumb Jules gets when he's drunk. No one who realizes that would ever offer him a drink or two, at least, that's been Jules's experience. bold of him to assume he's not dumb even without the alcohol
"Hey, thanks!" It's nice to have friends who don't realize the level of drunken disaster you can become. "Let me know if you need any IT work done at the Fight Club thing, too."
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12/20
So the Black Persian gave me back those uniform pieces he stole from you. I'd ask if you wanted to come to Fight Club to pick them up, but the man seems to be stalking the premises.
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but I don't want to run into him again
can I poke-venmo you some cash to get them shipped back here
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Also you do realize that I can just take your uniform back to the 'office' on foot, right? I'm due to turn in my quota anyway.
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really weird
kind of Stockholm-y but hey you do you
and I didn't want to be too much of a bother if you weren't gonna be in the area
should we turn this into an in-person thing or should steven just drop it off at the desk?
And if it helps you understand better, imagine if a *woman* in skintight black that leaves little to the imagination took you back somewhere, tied you up, and whispered threatening-yet-suggestive things in *your* ear.
let's go in person
ok
fair
but like also does this guy try to seduce *everyone* or just the people who seem receptive to it because then it still might be a little uncomfortable for some people I am just saying
text to action
It was *entirely* a matter of who's receptive to it. The first time I saw him in his costume, I gave him a *very* approving once-over. He absolutely knew I was all for having a homoerotic post-battle encounter.
I'll be there in half-an-hour.
--
It turns out to be closer to an hour.
"Sorry," Steven says tiredly, holding out a brown paper bag that evidently has Jules' uniform pieces in it. "I went to turn in my quota on the way and there's a new recruit from another world who's a little bitch."
no subject
"Scraft!" Rust is trailing along after Jules as usual; she seems to think he met with difficulty at Christmas solely because he wouldn't let her come along there.
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"Mmm, maybe? He's a catty, poisonous, little brat, about eighteen if he's a day? His most dangerous quality is his smart mouth, but if he decides you aren't worth shit--which he did with me--he's liable to shittalk you behind your back for the rest of time. He's basically half the boys I fucked in college, unfortunately, and while I know this means his home life is probably shit, because it always is for boys like him, right now I'm too pissed off at the little shit to really care."
He pauses for a moment, then adds, "So yeah, if you don't interact, you'll be fine. And if you can persuade the little brat you're useful, you'll be fine. And you don't have to worry about him treating you like shit after you sleep with him, because you're hopelessly straight and you won't. He'll probably flirt with you, though, if he thinks he can get away with it. It goes with the territory."
He sighs. "Ugh, sorry, I promise I wasn't planning to come over just to complain about the new guy. It just... happened. But, uh, I think I actually can get it a little bit? Just because... well. I'm kind of dating Thace now? And he's as tall as you, just a bit broader. So I'm getting exposed to the pain of finding clothes to fit him."
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Clothes! Clothes are easier to discuss! There's a lot of nodding from Jules. "He's broader than I am, so at least he doesn't have to worry as much about things being like parachute pants all over." There's a sigh. "It is such a pain; I'd be trading fake IDs for teenagers with the Spring Court all the time; they'd hook me up with clothes in return."
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He rubs his forehead. "I wish Garak had stayed here longer than he did. We could really use a tailor for the Team. Or that the places that Thace gets his clothes from made leggings--on you, they'd probably be like regular pants."
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Jules winces. "You mean like jeggings, right? I dunno if I can do jeggings, but I am kind of running out of options..." Why this?
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bold of him to assume he's not dumb even without the alcoholno subject
Steven is likely to regret this, yes. But he's also not going to rescind the offer now that it's been made.
"De nada," Steven says with a shrug. "You're a friend and coworker, after all."
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